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Happiness?

letsmurderthesky Aug 14, 2007
There's a City With My Name On It.
Waiting Patiently For My Return.
It Yearns as I do For When I Come Home,
But I Have Yet To Find Out The Definition Of "Home"
You're Talking To A Wannabe Nomad
Wanting To Cross The World A Thousand Times Over
But If You're Still Thinking This World Is Magical
I Suggest You Get A Ticket And Wait In Line
For The Psychologist Is Far Too Busy With The Rest Of You.

[I've been random with writing lately..]
Regardless, I've come to an extraordinary find. Well, not so extraordinary, but I didn't get the hint about it until last week. Depression. Oh. Great.

Isn't that pathetic?

Rawg. I need something to rant to because my heart is overwhelmed with phobia and corruption. It's honestly redundant how often I speak of such things. Hence why the illness? Is it even an illness? I don't even know.
Well, now if I blab it on towards the "xanga-ers" or whatever, then everyone will be like "omfg. <<;" and treat me differently. I don't know.

Maybe I do want to be treated differently, but not in that way. You know, in the way where I'm actually accounted for as a human being trying to get through life like the anonymous person walking right next to me. In the way where I'm not conceited or painstakingly dramatic. I don't know.

I hate apologies even though that makes me a hypocrite. I apologize for the smallest reasons that don't even involve me, but still.. I do it anyways. Written out apologies don't mean a thing to me. Over the phone apologies are a coward's way out. Up-front and personal apologies, who does that anymore when you have the internet?? This culture, I've noticed has become brain-dead slaves to the internet. I suppose I'm accounted for in that situation as well. It's not like you really have a choice in the matter. It's the only way to communicate now, or so the easiest way to communicate. Without any emotion, without any facial expression, without even looking into someone's eyes and having a real conversation. A real conversation would be reading text and typing as fast as your fingers can to respond according to society today. How pathetic is that?
I need a synonym for "pathetic".

affecting, commiserable, crummy, deplorable, distressing, feeble, heart-rending, heartbreaking, inadequate, lamentable, meager, melting, miserable, moving, paltry, petty, piteous, pitiable, pitiful, plaintive, poignant, poor, puny, rueful, sorry*, tender, touching, useless, woeful, worthless, wretched
Well, there. I don't even know why I just did that.

I guess it's a good reference since I abuse "pathetic". How useless is that? [woo.]

Rant. Rant. Rant, and I can't even Rant what I really want to Rant about.
There's that unpopular voice of mine again, wanting to take action. Sadly, whenever my unpopular voice is heard, it only leads me to trouble and suffering.

How lamentable. [woo.]
I once was overly forgiving.. Yet I'm not sure what to believe anymore. When you're too nice, and put up with everyone's shit, you get trampled. I for one am sick of getting pushed down into the dirt, eating the bullshit people feed me.
It's sickening [not pathetic!].
I need a spine. A strong one preferably made of steel or iron. Something that won't corode into rust and break down after too much wear and tear.

Who said wishes can't come true? They surely don't come right away though.

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letsmurderthesky
  • Munster IN, US
  • 20 Female, Aries
(more info)
  • Member Since: 2007-07-03
  • Relationship Status: committed
  • Orientation: Bi
  • Occupation: photographer/writer

About Me:

+I'm not really someone who is considered popular amongst my peers, but that's NOT going to stop me from being the person I want to be.
+I'm too nice to everyone.
+I go to local shows all the time to support upcoming bands.
+I'm not trying to fit into a stereotype, but regardless of what I say, people won't believe me.
+I read books. [a lot]
+I'm a lot more mellow than I used to be.
+I like to have serious conversations with people.
+I love to hang out with my friends.
+I'm shy around new people.
+There are people around me I want to be friends with, but I'm too shy to come up to talk to them.
+I'm learning to play guitar. [i need help :x]
+I'm into Real photography.
+I watch anime. I read manga. I'm an addict!
+My goal is write a novel and get into a band.
+My favorite city is Chicago.
+I want to attend Columbia College in Chicago.
+If you want to know what music I listen to, go to my music section. :]
+If I'm hyper, I might get ditzy, and I hate it.
+I'm addicted to Monsters.
+I'm taken by Eric Roach. ♥
+I agree: The best part of believe is the lie.
+I like acoustic more than electric most times.
+You'll never meet someone like me. I promise.

Interests:

Photography, Writing, Creating, Thinking, Writing Music, Singing, Love, Life, Seven Deadly Sins

Favorite Music:

Rammstein, Dir En Grey, An Cafe, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, The Used, PlayradioPlay!, Taking Back Sunday, Neutral Milk Hotel, Sigur Ros, Nirvana, Miyavi, Utada Hikaru, Rocketship in the Sky, Underoath, Chiodos, Farewell to February, Cardboard Cutout, All Time Low, Alkaline Trio, I Am X-Ray, 30 Seconds To Mars, A Change of Pace, Bright Eyes, Armor For Sleep, Across Five Aprils, Aiden, Alexisonfire, All That Remains, Beirut, Crossfade, Cute is What We Aim For, DJ Babyboi, Dj Tiesto, Every Avenue, Everytime I Die, Escape The Fate, Enter Shikari, From First To Last, Funeral For A Friend, Forward Russia!, Hinoi Team, Hit The Lights, Hellogoodbye, Gackt, Freezepop, Forever the Sickest Kids, Goot, Gogol Bordello, Love Me Electric, Kotoko, Malice Mizer, Misfits, Namie Amuro, Page France, Poison the Well, Porcelain and the Tramps, Peachcake, Saosin, Say Anthying, Shiny toy Guns, Sex Pistols, Secondhand Serenade, The Scene Aesthetic, The Spill Canvas, Statepark, Sky Eats Airplane, Sufjan Stevens, Teenage TV Terrorists, Fall of Troy, Treaty of Paris, Valencia, yea lachance!

Favorite Movies:

V for Vendetta, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Underworld, Van Helsing, Resident Evil, Sleepy Hollow, Pirates of the Carribean, Walk The Line, Ray, Lord of the Rings

Favorite TV Shows:

Bleach, Yu Yu Hakusho, Sailor Moon, Power Rangers [original], InuYasha, Fruits Basket, Samurai Champloo, Chobits, Pita Ten, HunterxHunter, Blood+, Trinity Blood, Saiyuki, Saiyuki Reload

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